He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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