is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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