just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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