Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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