Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
