I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
