I wish I could teleport
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
