never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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