This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
