I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize