youre lurking in front of me
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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