He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
