I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
