We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
