It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish you could order shots online.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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