You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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