When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
