Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
