Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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