I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i came on her dog
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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