11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize