How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you traded sex for a burrito?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We need to get me chipped asap
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