We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
