i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
