Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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