We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
