it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
