I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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