My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i out mim tonsoeep
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