Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
