I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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