We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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