dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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