everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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