She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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