so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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