Just fell off a train. Bad.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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