I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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