So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
