i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
