the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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