And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
