At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just cropdusted the office
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
