did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
