the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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