I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
