hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
