I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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