yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
