Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
