i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
