Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
