Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
