is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sext me about skeletons
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
