you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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