Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
