yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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